A Man’s Sexuality: A Gift From God For His Wife

Introduction:

We live in an over-sexualized culture. Don’t get me wrong. Sex is not wrong, in the appropriate context. In fact, in the right context, it is holy.

So many men in our culture are out for whatever they can get. They spend their sexuality upon themselves and use women to do it. But this is not why men were given their sexuality.

The Ephesians 5 Man:

In Greek, the word andros, which is often translated as husband in English can also mean man. Now, before we go off half-cocked, let me be clear. In the context of Ephesians 5:22-33, Paul is very specifically speaking to husbands and wives. I am going to make an extension to this text. I believe that this text needs to apply to all men, because of our sexualized culture. We must be at the point where we are no longer spending our sexuality on ourselves at the expense of women.

Also, let me be clear. There is only one place where sex can be properly expressed, and that is within the covenant of marriage. If a man is having sex with his girlfriend or viewing pornography or whatever, he is illegally partaking in sex and misusing his sexuality.

So, here it is. A husband is called to serve his wife, just as Christ has served the church. Paul calls this service love in Ephesians 5, because it is an expression of true love.

Now, let me extend this. A man who truly loves a woman will not violate sexual boundaries with her. Until they are actually married, she is his sister. He must treat her as he would treat his biological sister.

You see, in a dating relationship, even if the woman is willing to have sex with the man or even pushing for sex, he must not permit it. If he truly loves her, he will not lead her anywhere that will hurt her. And sex outside of covenant brings wounds that can destroy a relationship. (This includes pushing boundaries, by the way, and not just the sex act itself.)

So, the Ephesians 5 man will serve the woman that he wants to marry by keeping a strong guard up. He will have a plan in place so that he can honor her at all times. While it is true that mistakes can be forgiven and that hurts can be healed, in his love for her he will want to avoid all such. He will understand that she must be able to trust him in all things and that breaches of trust cannot just be shrugged off. She needs to be able to trust him emotionally as well as intellectually, and wounded emotional trust can take years to heal, if it ever does.

Likewise, the Ephesians 5 man who is married will seek to serve his wife. His sexuality is a gift from God, not for him, but for his wife. So, this husband will seek to serve his wife with his sexuality. Again, his sex drive isn’t for him; it is for her. The Ephesians 5 husband serves his wife at all times, including in the bedroom.

Conclusion:

The Ephesians 5 man seeks to honor God and others with his sexuality. For single men and for married men, this means sexual expression only in the proper context of covenant. You see; a man’s sexuality is not for him. It is a gift for his wife.