3-1-14
I have been contemplating how I will be able to express my
love to my wife, when I do get married. As an INTJ, emotional expression is a
bit difficult, to say the least. Granted, it isn’t impossible, but when it is
easiest is when I am generally feeling things so strongly that they begin to
leak everywhere. At those times, I have a difficult time actually explaining
what I am feeling.
1. I want to write her love letters and then read them to
her. This may be the only way she will be able to see both the emotional
manifestation of my love while I am also using words to describe what I am
feeling. Otherwise, she would only see one or the other, because when my
emotions are manifesting that strongly, my thinking becomes muddled and
non-linear. And if I only wrote to her, she would not see the emotional
manifestation. I think she will need both from me.
2. I want to lead her spiritually. Now, I don’t expect to
marry a woman who is spiritually immature, that’s not what I am talking about.
Rather, I want to lead her deeper into the things of God than she has ever
dreamed possible, as He in turn has led me. Don’t get me wrong; there will be
things that she will help me to learn as well. This is just me taking Paul’s
charge to husbands in Ephesians 5 seriously. This will include things like
praying together and having devotions together daily.
3. I want to demonstrate my love for her in little things.
For instance, if she doesn’t like slipping into a bed with cold sheets, I would
warm her side of the bed for her. If she were too tired to do her portion of
the household chores, I would do them for her. Sometimes I would just do them
anyway, to bless her. J
I would give her gifts, both purchased and those that I made, small things
mostly, to remind her that I am (or will be) always thinking of her.
3-3-14
4. I want to stay healthy and fit for her. As an INTJ, it is
very easy for me to start thinking about something and remain immobile for
hours at a time. I need to get up and exercise more, as well as improving my
eating habits. I want to do this so that our time together can be maximized and
not cut short by preventable disease and health conditions. And yes, as an
INTJ, I do forget to eat sometimes. This has to do with a very poorly developed
Si. INTJs are often not very in touch with their own bodies.
5. I want to be present for her as much as possible. I will
need to care for myself, which as an INTJ will mean sufficient alone/quiet
time. However, I will also need to make sure that she has the time and care
that she will need from me. This will mean doing things with her when I would
prefer something else. This is a large part of where the relationship will
stretch me. But, as Paul states in Ephesians 5, husbands are to lay down their
lives for their wives as Christ laid down His life for the church. I will have
to discover when I actually need time alone or in silence and when it is just
something that I would prefer. I will need to steward my social time so that as
much of it as possible is available to her.
6. I want to take interest in her interests and enjoy the
things she enjoys. This may not be possible in every case, but as far as it is
possible, I want to do this for her.
7. I want to write songs for her. My voice isn’t the best,
but I will write and sing songs for her as I am able. They may be cheesy and
sung a bit off key, but they will be from my heart to hers. Hopefully they won’t
be too painful to her ears.
I will add more to this list when I think of new things.
